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Today was... interesting to say the least.
I know I have this habbit of not posting forever and then posting like WHOAH HOLY SHIT entries when I do, lol. Well here I go doing it again lol Today was possibly the exact OPPOSITE of how I thought it would go. Nick picked me up around 345-ish to bring me to my dad's house real quick, which took surprisingly longer than I thought, lol. And then we went back to his pad to get his dad to go to his Aunt's wake. We were cutting it very fine indeed. I dunno how I felt about seeing him. In fact, I was rather chipper for some reason, not flirtsy chipper, just like.. I have this feeling that I am happy without you, and I am being reminded of that right now. Lol, I dunno. But we blasted music like you have no idea, which i haven't done in a while. When we got his dad though we switched to the convertable (top up) me in the back and listening to pink floyd, which I am not all that into lol. It was a pretty boring trip. I got to thinking about the wake around half hour until we got there (2.5 hours) and I got quite a bit teary, but I did not let on.
When we got there it was the friggen wierdest bitch I've ever experienced. EVERYONE knew nick and I were no longer together, and I didn't know that, given he never speaks to any of them.. plus why should he mention it? I was fucking annoyed. The first person I saw that I knew was his mother, who gave me (what I thought at first) was a cold look and said "Well it was nice of you to come" Apparently she was surprised I had come. We'll get to that though. I steered clear of the casket. I had known his Aunt well enough, and liked her very much so I wanted to avoid a scene and going up to the casket and kneeling on the alter would certainly have caused me emotion. Plus, not that it matters or whatever, but I am not catholic, and we don't do the alters. (I really dunno what to do) Well I wanted to ditch nick and apparently he felt the same so I caught sight of his sister AManda, who I feel quite warmly toward now that me and nick are caput, lol. Soooo the contrary when we were together. Well I feel almost guilty because her and I just sat there and talked and talked the ENTIRE time, and we were there for a good hour and a half. Out of this "lovely" hour and a half I divulged the most INTERESTING NEWS. Want to know? Nick has replaced me. With some psycho chick their ENTIRE family calls Loony behind his back, lmao. Apparently she is ugly, lives in a shelter, fat, psycho and had a kid taken away from her. I don't normally make fun of ppl but I will under the circumstances. I was PISSED OFF. I had come here to find out that my ex boyfriend, whom I had devoted my life to, given my virginity, had his CHILDREN and SECURED THE LOVE AND SUPPORT OF MOST OF THE PEOPLE THERE, had gone and replaced me with a mediocre slut bag who he had the AUDACITY to introduce to his FAMILY? BULL MOTHER FUCKING SHIT. I am ten fold better than she is. I know it and I don't even know HER. I know that I am better looking, and have a better personality, am actually GOING places. And DO NOT HAVE MY KIDS TAKEN AWAY. STUPID fugly SLUT. Not to mention, I looked damn good today, and all nick had eves for was his damn cousin, bastard. Not that it matters why have him. So Amanda and I divulged in ways to discredit this freak face. I hope she gets hit by a car. God forgive me. I mean, come on now. I KNOW I can be a bitch. I know this, but I think his family knows (that's seen that part of me) knows that's because of the things nick was putting me through and the fact that no one was helping me control their son/brother/whatever. Dig? So. What happened on the way home? With nick and his dad? Well naturally I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I asked him how loony was. And he said something about her being a friend turned stalker. Yeah. Right. And I asked his dad, and he said she said something crazy like if she could stay there. BITCH I AM THE ONLY PERSON HE WILL LET STAY THERE FOR MORE THAN A NIGHT BEST RECOGNIZE Anyways but he said as far as 'monkey business' went he had no idea. then he asked why bring it up? I said I just wanted to make sure she existed. The of course, things got quite. His dad asked me why I was mad at nick and being so quiet, I said I was not mad at nick, on the contrary I was quite glad to have principles unlike him. By this point naturally I was mad and I was getting emotional. I said that nick did not give a shit whom he slept with. And that if he was not careful he would get loony pregnant like he did me. And I told him (his dad cus i wasNOT speaking to that dick) that and btw you have clamydhia. *dark laugh* The car got awfully quiet after that. His dad asked me how I knew and I said cus I had it, and I (lied) and said I had never had sex with any one but nick and had tests done not weeks ago. And that nick cheated on me. And that he and I slept two weeks together. and two weeks before THAT. And then his dad rounded on him, and he got this stupid fucking grin on his face and let me tell you he was lucky I was in the back seat cus if i could have reached him I would have punched his mouth right off. And that'd be a shame because his dad would have to see his son get violent toward a woman which he has only to often done. And that's a confession. As well as the clamydhia which the two plus amanda were the first to know.
So then I came home in full rage, put on my old school screamo, dropped into my bed, turned up the volume as loud as possible and did some adrenaline run off i used to do as a kid; air guitar, rolling around on my bed, singing at the top of my lungs, head banging and then I did like a million sit ups. and to calm myself I down around a gillion aspirin and have yet to feel some affect. Tommorow's the funeral. Another day of chaos? AM I even going? Lets go seeeee.
I know I have this habbit of not posting forever and then posting like WHOAH HOLY SHIT entries when I do, lol. Well here I go doing it again lol Today was possibly the exact OPPOSITE of how I thought it would go. Nick picked me up around 345-ish to bring me to my dad's house real quick, which took surprisingly longer than I thought, lol. And then we went back to his pad to get his dad to go to his Aunt's wake. We were cutting it very fine indeed. I dunno how I felt about seeing him. In fact, I was rather chipper for some reason, not flirtsy chipper, just like.. I have this feeling that I am happy without you, and I am being reminded of that right now. Lol, I dunno. But we blasted music like you have no idea, which i haven't done in a while. When we got his dad though we switched to the convertable (top up) me in the back and listening to pink floyd, which I am not all that into lol. It was a pretty boring trip. I got to thinking about the wake around half hour until we got there (2.5 hours) and I got quite a bit teary, but I did not let on.
When we got there it was the friggen wierdest bitch I've ever experienced. EVERYONE knew nick and I were no longer together, and I didn't know that, given he never speaks to any of them.. plus why should he mention it? I was fucking annoyed. The first person I saw that I knew was his mother, who gave me (what I thought at first) was a cold look and said "Well it was nice of you to come" Apparently she was surprised I had come. We'll get to that though. I steered clear of the casket. I had known his Aunt well enough, and liked her very much so I wanted to avoid a scene and going up to the casket and kneeling on the alter would certainly have caused me emotion. Plus, not that it matters or whatever, but I am not catholic, and we don't do the alters. (I really dunno what to do) Well I wanted to ditch nick and apparently he felt the same so I caught sight of his sister AManda, who I feel quite warmly toward now that me and nick are caput, lol. Soooo the contrary when we were together. Well I feel almost guilty because her and I just sat there and talked and talked the ENTIRE time, and we were there for a good hour and a half. Out of this "lovely" hour and a half I divulged the most INTERESTING NEWS. Want to know? Nick has replaced me. With some psycho chick their ENTIRE family calls Loony behind his back, lmao. Apparently she is ugly, lives in a shelter, fat, psycho and had a kid taken away from her. I don't normally make fun of ppl but I will under the circumstances. I was PISSED OFF. I had come here to find out that my ex boyfriend, whom I had devoted my life to, given my virginity, had his CHILDREN and SECURED THE LOVE AND SUPPORT OF MOST OF THE PEOPLE THERE, had gone and replaced me with a mediocre slut bag who he had the AUDACITY to introduce to his FAMILY? BULL MOTHER FUCKING SHIT. I am ten fold better than she is. I know it and I don't even know HER. I know that I am better looking, and have a better personality, am actually GOING places. And DO NOT HAVE MY KIDS TAKEN AWAY. STUPID fugly SLUT. Not to mention, I looked damn good today, and all nick had eves for was his damn cousin, bastard. Not that it matters why have him. So Amanda and I divulged in ways to discredit this freak face. I hope she gets hit by a car. God forgive me. I mean, come on now. I KNOW I can be a bitch. I know this, but I think his family knows (that's seen that part of me) knows that's because of the things nick was putting me through and the fact that no one was helping me control their son/brother/whatever. Dig? So. What happened on the way home? With nick and his dad? Well naturally I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I asked him how loony was. And he said something about her being a friend turned stalker. Yeah. Right. And I asked his dad, and he said she said something crazy like if she could stay there. BITCH I AM THE ONLY PERSON HE WILL LET STAY THERE FOR MORE THAN A NIGHT BEST RECOGNIZE Anyways but he said as far as 'monkey business' went he had no idea. then he asked why bring it up? I said I just wanted to make sure she existed. The of course, things got quite. His dad asked me why I was mad at nick and being so quiet, I said I was not mad at nick, on the contrary I was quite glad to have principles unlike him. By this point naturally I was mad and I was getting emotional. I said that nick did not give a shit whom he slept with. And that if he was not careful he would get loony pregnant like he did me. And I told him (his dad cus i wasNOT speaking to that dick) that and btw you have clamydhia. *dark laugh* The car got awfully quiet after that. His dad asked me how I knew and I said cus I had it, and I (lied) and said I had never had sex with any one but nick and had tests done not weeks ago. And that nick cheated on me. And that he and I slept two weeks together. and two weeks before THAT. And then his dad rounded on him, and he got this stupid fucking grin on his face and let me tell you he was lucky I was in the back seat cus if i could have reached him I would have punched his mouth right off. And that'd be a shame because his dad would have to see his son get violent toward a woman which he has only to often done. And that's a confession. As well as the clamydhia which the two plus amanda were the first to know.
So then I came home in full rage, put on my old school screamo, dropped into my bed, turned up the volume as loud as possible and did some adrenaline run off i used to do as a kid; air guitar, rolling around on my bed, singing at the top of my lungs, head banging and then I did like a million sit ups. and to calm myself I down around a gillion aspirin and have yet to feel some affect. Tommorow's the funeral. Another day of chaos? AM I even going? Lets go seeeee.
predatoryLeave a comment
complacent
Out of it
ecstatic
grateful
Ready
Dark
Murderous
Seductive